After the battle, when the wounded had been tended to, the prisoners secured and the dead buried, I left with my bodyguard and rode to her lake. I had sworn that, if the day was ours, I would pay homage to the lady as Bedifyr had done for Arthur.

We reached the place as the last light lingered in the sky – just enough to see its glitter ahead of us. I ordered my knights to stay behind in a copse and not to follow or look at what I did. I went forward alone on foot to the edge of the water. I bent my head in prayer and then, taking my victorious blade from its sheath, threw it as far as I could into the silver depths.

I watched as the ripples spread and subsided. Suddenly the waters parted and she rose. As I stared in wonder, she glided towards me, shimmering with a greenish glow and covered with liquid pearls, the sword in her hand. I fell to my knees in dread.

As I knelt there, shivering with fear and awe, I felt a ghostly hand on my head. It gripped my hair and drew me up until my face was level with hers and, thrusting the weapon back into my hands, she uttered the words I would remember till my dying day.

“This is a message to you and your tribe.” she whispered, “Tell them, will you stop throwing your rubbish into my garden or I’ll turn you into a cesspit!”

“Yes, Goddess, I will” I stammered and knew no more …

… until I awoke at home, sat on the shitter, wondering if I’d dreamt it all.
rs 9.5.15