Do I confuse you? Well that’s sad –
I just like jokes and word games too,
playing neat tricks to amaze
and dazzle your admiring gaze.

I’m no servant nor a slave
but would like to help you if I can …
at your service if you call
politely, or don’t call me at all.

I work hard for decent pay ..
for nothing if it suits me to.
I clear the way and open doors –
you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

I speak the truth as well I may
and do expect the same from you.
I meet everyone with trust –
cheat me once and then just ..

.. don’t expect a second chance.
You’re on your own and in the dark
and somewhere there’s a nasty gnome
who’s not telling your way home.

I chase women, that is true –
it’s one thing that I like to do,
but don’t fear I’m planning to steal yours,
unless she wants me to, of course.

Some find me boring, even staid,
others weird and off-the-scale.
Did those extra rhymes slip past?
I told you that you should think fast.

There’s sense in regularity
but obsessively’s a trap,
so slip in something snakily
or you’ll end up with crap.